Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
