Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
