I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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