I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
