how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
