Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize