So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
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my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Boobs speak an international language.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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