Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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