and you said cock pushups were impossible
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
