he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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