I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
