smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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