I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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