You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
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Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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