OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
this will be a night to untag.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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