Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
