I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.