Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!