dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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