We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
