ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
