I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
