He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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