You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
