The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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