Redeem this text for a blowjob
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
