Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
