Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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