I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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