Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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