arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
