I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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