Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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