I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize