youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
