Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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