glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
