mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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