my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We named our party play list daddy issues
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
