Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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