OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
