look no pants
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
