Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
