Walk of Shame. In a state park.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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