do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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