It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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