If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
