Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
