i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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