Don't make out with my wife yet
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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