it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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