If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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