I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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