North Korea, Best Korea!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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