How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
