you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Randomize
