Need sex. Gaining weight.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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