If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize