We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
