I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm both gender and math confused
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
