Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize