So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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