i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
