Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize