Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
