I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
