What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
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I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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